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My main memories from memorial days of years past is eating too much BBQ, getting too much sun and the summers first ice cream.

So basically, this year was no different.

So the working out wasn’t stellar this weekend. Things started off badly on Friday morning when I overslept and missed my session with Terri. However, I am very proud to say that I did not go out to CT Friday after work, but decided to go on Saturday so that I could get my work out in at the gym.

Prior to getting there I made a list of the exercises I wanted to do, the reps, the weights, etc. Basically, I had a plan. I’ve found that when I am not really in the mood to work out it is easier to have a sort of checklist, because having no plan when I have that sort of attitude means a half-assed and a general waste of time workout.

So armed, with my sheet, I headed up to the weight area after warming up. I won’t lie and say that it was fun or that once I started I really enjoyed myself and didn’t think of every minute of my time that I would have rather spent elsewhere. No, I will not lie. It sucked. However, with my checklist, I went through the exercises that I wanted to and got my work out done.

We all have those great times at the gym where you are super motivated, have a ton of energy and actually really want to work out. Those times are certainly not the norm for me, but I’m always less proud about those workouts. The ones that really mean something are the ones that where you did not want to go. The ones that are a struggle from getting there to the first rep to every minute of cardio to getting dressed and leaving. Those workouts are the ones taht really matter and the ones to feel good about because those are the ones that historically I would blow off.

So, despite plenty of BBQ this weekend and a sunburn the likes of which I haven’t seen since highschool, I feel fine about this past weekend. Sure I had my first Dairy Queen blizzard of the season, I mean you really can’t fight that level of tradition. However, armed with my monumental effort on the Friday, I feel okay about it. I know now, that I have it in me to get to the gym and do my exercises whether I really want to or not. It’s becoming a habit and I think that may be one of my most important accomplishments so far. I mean, think of how hard it is to break bad habits, I hope that it is just as hard to break a good one (obviously I have not had much experience with those). posted by Flab to Fab

So this past weekend was my birthday and then of course Mother’s Day, which translated into a weekend of eating, drinking and then eating some more. Let’s just say that Friday started with multiple pieces of ice cream cake at work and progressed accordingly.

The one thing I knew, though, was that I had Terri on Monday and I would get a good workout and get things back on track. Now, I don’t know if Terri knew about the ice cream cake or the late night pizza, but all I can say is that Monday’s workout was pure punishment. Now, I assure you that none of Terri’s workouts are ever easy, but ever so often she’ll suprise you with a super intense workout. You know, the kind you would never really do yourself. The kind where you are pushed past being tired, past being fatigued, right to the point where you literally and physically can’t do it anymore.

The thing is that while these particular workouts are not fun, there is a very empowering element to them. Being pushed so far lets you see what your body really can do, you get to see how much stronger you’ve really become, how much endurance you have. All in all, you get to check out the amount of energy you can put forth when you are holding nothing back and pushing yourself to your very limits. It actually is such a high and feels great, up until the next morning when your butt muscles are screaming, then not so much.

However, after a workout like that it makes you wonder, why don’t I push like this all the time. If I worked this hard, with this much intensity at every workout, then just imagine the results!
It’s like a new form of motivation all over again.

That’s when you remember what you had forgotten: Terri always has a plan.

So after my turning point, mental breakdown, what have you, I definitely feel much more focused and ready again to make some progress. It’s funny because Terri noticed a pattern where I work hard and lose some inches and then don’t lose any at all, so basically for these sessions I’m due. I already have noticed that I’m working out more and things don’t seem as hard and as sluggish as they have been. Well, maybe that’s not entire true.

Last night I was suffering from a severe case of Monday blues as Corporate America has literally sucked the life right out of me. It was one of those days that all I wanted to do was go home and either sleep or watch tv but in either way I was going to feel sorry for myself. Working out would not have been a viable option, except for the fact I had a work out with Terri.

Once I got there I shuffled in and maxed my time changing in the bathroom, unrealistically hoping I could get away with not doing much. I mean I had done a very hard lifting class at my gym on Saturday and I was sore- wouldn’t that buy me a little mercy, a little understanding, a little rest? Short answer: No!

We did a combo of arms and legs and I spent most of the time out of the saddle on the bike. The very second that fatigue would set in and I would relax on my form a bit, Terri was there to point it out and make me correct it. I spent a large portion of my session scowling at her, but then again, as she likes to say I don’t pay her for it to be fun, fun costs more!

But in the end it does end up being fun. We were trying to do these very hard versions of squats but they kept hurting my knee. However, we tried other variations until the only thing hurting was what was supposed to hurt. You gotta love someone who just won’t give up, that is of course, unless it makes you do more squats than you want and then you probably don’t love them that much.

The thing is though, I walked into Terri’s studio feeling miserable with my life and my job and just about everything and when I walked out I felt energized and empowered. Sometimes it is so hard to get there and working out is the last thing you want to do, but in the end it is completely worth it. It’s times like last night that having Terri makes such a difference. There is no option, there is no internal debate about whether or not to go to the gym, because for me, nine times out of ten, when there’s a debate, I just don’t go. I somehow rationalize or come up with a reason that is acceptable to me why I can’t or even shouldn’t work it. With Terri none of these reasons hold water so there is no option, you’re going. So sulk all you want, frown all you want, scowl all you want, in the end, the sweat is on the floor and you’ve had a great work out.

posted by Flab to Fab at Tuesday, May 09, 2006

To say this measurement day did not go well would be true. To say that I didn’t learn anything though, fortunately, would not be true.Basically I made no progress and even gained 1/2 an inch on my waist. We can blame this away on “that time of the month” a pretty salty few days, etc. I prefer to just say, yes, I put forth no effort and I basically stayed the same. I knew what to do and what not to do and yet I did the wrong things anyway.Of course I was certainly not so calm and rational last night, but Terri and I had a great talk that really helped me realize where I’ve been, where I am and most importantly, where I’m going. Of course, we had this talk while I was sweating bullets and my inner thighs were sreaming for mercy, but hey, I think of it as therapy on steriods!

I realized that wanting to look good in a bikini is a goal taht really has gotten me as far as it could. I’m not unhappy with how I look. Yes, I want to do better and look better, but let’s face it, when faced with a choice of doing the right thing and working out or just going home and catching up on my DVR, I’ve been choosing the latter. I hate to say it, but basically this is because I’m not miserable with how I look anymore, so that isn’t giving me any motivation.

Terri helped me realize that now I have to focus on challenging myself and picking something I want, something that will give me more motivation than trying to fit into a pair of pants. I need to be working towards something that is really important to me, so that when I’m faced with the choice, it really isn’t a choice. I have something I want to badly that I do the right thing, without ever deliberating on it.Terri actually gave me homework this week and more than that she gave me a lot to think about.

I actually walked home from my work out just to try and wrap my head around all the great advice she gave me. For so long I have just always thought that if I had this great amazing body things would fall in to place and I would be happy. Terri flipped it on me. She posed the question- what if I was happy with my life overall, then maybe my body would fall in to place. I thought back to times in my life when I’ve looked the best. It seemed it was always at times when I wasn’t even trying so hard, but I was very happy with the rest of my life and how it was going. It’s all connected. I finally get it.

I really think that last night was a big turning point for me. I’m reevalutating my plans and my goals, but with fitness and with my life. Terri helped me realize that I haven’t been challenging myself, I’vejust been coasting and taht will only get me so far. It has only gotten me so far and I’m finally prepared to take responsibility and say I want more than okay, I want more than average- I want great. I know that pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is hard and often painful, but I feel like I’m finally mentally in the place to do it.

I think I finally have the right attitude, now I guess we’ll see how much of a difference that will make…

Measurement day. This really can be the best or worst part of this whole process. I remember fondly my first time, at the end of my first set of sessions. I was so excited to get measured because I jsut knew that I had made progress, I could already see it on my body and I just couldn’t wait to get validated. I had worked really hard and I was ready to hear my results.

That first time was great. To hear about the inches I had lost made me even more motivated to keep going. It was like, “hey, this actually works!” I was so excited.

Fast forward a few months.

The good news is as you keep training with Terri you get in better shape and have less to lose. The bad news is, having less to lose makes it that much harder.

I remember my third measurement. I hadn’t been working out as much, it was around the holidays, etc. Basically, I already knew it wasn’t going to be good, but I still had that glimmer of pipedream hope that miraculously I would have lost all this weight. Stupid, I know, especially since it made it that much more crushing when my measurements pretty much came in as I knew they should. I was miserable. Sure, I still lost and any rational person would have been happy about any progress, but no, I was borderline hysterical. Why? Probably because even though I’m not an obese person I still want those Biggest Loser results. Realistic? Well of course not, but then that’s not the point.

This is when Terri is at her best. She knows how to bring you back to reality. SHe made me realize that progress is good, and huge, unrealistic numbers aren’t putting you on the path to life changing progress. Quick downs, quick ups. Of course, we all know this, I mean it isn’t rocket science, but sometimes having someone tell you things, and forcefully, can finally make you listen and accept.

So for this weigh in I’m nervous. I’ve already seen the progress or really lack of it for the past few weeks and I’m actually scared I might have taken a step back. At this point I just want to get it over with so I can see and know, yes, you ate too much cake and you didn’t make any progress, let’s move on now. Sometimes it’s the waiting taht will kill you.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Hopefully, by the time I write again, I will have gotten my token, “it’s all so hard, I’ll never be thin, life is unfair” whine and cry out of my system…

posted by Flab to Fab at Monday, May 01, 2006