Sep 7th, 2006
Reality Continues
You know it’s not going to be a good day when you arrive to work wearing the exact same dress as your colleague. You realize it is going to be a terrible day when said dress is a size 12 on you and a size zero on her. On top of that your own size twelve is snug, her size zero is fashionably loose. Because really, this is exactly what I need right now.
So now I have to traipse around work and attend cocktails afterwards standing side by side with super thin girl. This is literally my worst nightmare. The good mental place that I was in has effectively been air raided and now I feel awful about myself and how fat I’ve let myself become. I honestly want to go home and change because I don’t think I could feel more miserable in an outfit than I do right at this moment.
The worst thing is, I had promised myself that I would never get to a point where I would have to feel this way again. Yet I did. There’s no going back now, but it just sucks to realize that I’m going to have to feel this way for a while- at least until I get my body back into a place where I feel comfortable, where I feel like me.
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