Apr 19th, 2007
Getting it right
So the other day when I was training with Terri, she said that I must like the constant uphill battle or I wouldn’t keep doing this same dance. I don’t think this is true, I don’t like it this cycle, but more importantly I don’t want this to be true. I’ve kind of been thinking about this week as my week to prove that I really don’t like feeling the way I do right now and I’m willing to do what it takes to fix it.
On Tuesday, I left work late, around 9 and just went straight to the gym. I know that so often I can give myself the believable (and in my mind, justifiable) excuse of not going to the gym because I’ve worked late and am tired. The thing is, though, that valid or not, that excuse isn’t going to get me to where I want to be. And the more I’ve been thinking about it, most of my excuses or reasons why I do or don’t do certain things aren’t outlandish. Special occasions, vacations, sick, hurt, etc. These aren’t bad reasons, they aren’t bad excuses, but they are still things that are going to ensure I only get a percentage of what I really want. This realization certainly stuck with me and to an extent I’ve tried to really just accept that this week.
Everything is a choice. If I chose to go to dinner with a friend after work and not work out- that is fine. But a better choice would have been to hit the gym in the morning and then do my dinner. I’m starting to think that it really is all about varying degrees of committment. If I’m only willing to do what it takes 60% of the time then I’m gonig to get 60% of what I want. Maybe that is enough, maybe it isn’t. I think I just really need to figure out exactly where I want to be- I mean, maybe a certain body type that I would love to have, might, in the end, just require more sacrifice than I’m willing to make. And I think that is fine. Right now, I’m just adjusting my expectations, based on past successes and failures and by taking an honest look at my life now and the role I want fitness to play in it. Working out in the morning so I can enjoy a dinner with friends or happy hour after work guilt free is something I can do, but more importantly, it is something I’m willing to do. I think right now I need to look at the overall tradeoffs and really take stock of my priorities.
Over the past three weeks I’ve been giving it about 40% and right now I look about 40%- not happy. I know I can do more and I want to do more, I am not happy at this level. But maybe I get to a point where I’m giving it 80% and look 80% of my ideal- maybe that will be enough for me and I can really be happy with that- who knows? I guess I’ll figure that out when I get back there.