this week i’ve fallen off the wagon. I’ve been eating too much, no control at all. Last week I did really well, scheduling meal times and planning what I would eat (or rather, letting Nukitchen plan it, and but not eating more than that, or not eating their dinner, and making me own, without the usual constant post-dinner snacking.
I managed to get a workout in Wednesday morning — another shocking accomplishment for me. I HATE going to the gym — not because I don’t like working out. Once I get there, I love working out (well, maybe not love.) I just really hate the part that involves the existence of are other people. But I also like it. It’s depressing to work out alone.
Today I’ve decided (I didn’t say “I’m going to try,” which is sure failure for me) to not overeat, but to exercise some restraint and decisiveness and responsibility today. So, for breakfast I had some fruit and a Soy Boy Okara Courage Burger (130 cal, 13 g. protein). Nukitchen this morning was a scone and fruit, which I tossed because it had butter (no dairy) and eggs (pasture-raised organic only.) Nukitchen isn’t great if you’re vegetarian. It’s hard to find choices without dairy or eggs. If I make a schedule, it’s much easier not to waffle and break down. Terri said I’ve probably grown out of Nukitchen. I think she’s right.
I’ve had fish a few times since my utah trip (i.e. the “sheep kill.” read all about it www.boss-inc.com. It’s really hard to be vegetarian if you want, for example, to be with people, so the occasional seafood feels ok at the moment.
I really want a Smart Treat Everything Chip cookie right now. they’re insanely good, notwithstanding the fact that they are vegan. Most vegan sweets are disgusting, like curried tempeh (my Nukitchen lunch today), but these are unfortunately delicious. One small cookie has 70 cal (which would be fine if they didn’t come in a container of 6), and the large has 210. Half a meal…. (but 6 g. of protein, woo hoo) http://smarttreat.com/details.php?cat=2&sub=3&itm=39
So Terri took my measurements on Tuesday. Conveniently, she waited to tell me until Tuesday afternoon, so I couldn’t do that much damage. I was all ready to expect a few extra inches since my Utah trip. Wow was I surprised when she told me I lost another 2 1/2 inches. I don’t know how. I feel like I eat a lot, although I’ve cut way down on the crap in the last month. I’ve been doing more physical activity, so that makes a difference I guess. The real challenge for me, Terri said, is realizing that what I feel like is not necessarily what I look like or what I’m doing. I guess it must be true. I’m guessing she didn’t lie about losing more inches. Anyway, today we’re supposed to do a flexibility session. I’m skeptical. I want to sweat, work on my pullups -yeah! LOL. Which reminds me, someone told me yesterday that she knows a girl who can do 85 push-ups. Wow. I can “only” do 40… Jeez.
Today I discovered my boyfriend lost 4 pounds eating two boxes of Mallomars since Sunday. Great. If only I liked Mallowmars …. Anyway, I’ve had a pretty good week eating, not overeating. Not obsessing as much, and not giving in. Terri said I have to just decide not to binge. She said it might have something to do with some ambivalence in other parts of my life (i.e. I want to be successful and get recognition at work and at the same time I want to disappear and not be seen.) It was easier to make that decision. On Monday I decided to not obsess and not binge, to eat on a schedule, just for that day. So I made the decision to not eat whenever/whatever I wanted on Monday, and since then it’s been easier.
And, by the way, did I mention that I did four (FOUR!!) pull-ups on Tuesday!!! FOUR!! Plus, shockingly, I worked out on my own at the gym yesterday. I hate going to the gym. Really hard to believe I dragged my ass there. And I’m even sore today. Nice.
Still, I feel like I’ve been boring/annoying the crap out of Terri lately. Well, she said, at least there’s less drama. great…. Anyway, it’s time to go bore myself to sleep. : )
just trying to see if it works. i posted a long one earlier today, and it disappeared in the transition process. here goes.
i’m tired. i wanna go back to sleep. tried to change my session with T to this afternoon. she can’t, so i’m going now. getting up at 6:30 and shlepping my ass there is the battle. i’m not feelin’ the love today! story of my life.
I felt so much better after seeing Terri yesterday. It was a lazy/sick week and I hardly did anything, and I was anything but excited to work out yesterday. Half way through I started to feel human. And my butt hurts!!! I love that!!! I had to work late so I couldn’t go running tonight, but I’m going to tomorrow. That will be a promise hard to keep. I want to. Clearly, motivation is my biggest problem. Tomorrow I’m going running.