After about almost two weeks of managing to avoid snacking and eating sweets, I feel better. I think I must have lost a couple of pounds - my pants aren’t as tight. Yay. I’m really happy and relieved to be getting back to a fitness program again. I feel more sane, I sleep better, I look better, I don’t feel so shitty about myself. I am tired though - I worked out three times last week, and my swimming class on Friday. I slept great this weekend. I’m still sleepy — which might account for why this blog is so boring…. oh well. : )
Well, it seems like there’s a trend among Terri’s clients — we all feel fat. I’ve been well aware of putting a lot of those pounds right back on. And to make matters worse, for a while there I think I actually convinced myself that it didn’t matter. What the hell was I on? Now that my clothes are getting so tight they look bad, I’m finally waking up about it. To make matters worse, I have been so f–ing lazy in my sessions with Terri.
I found out last week that I’m going to start a different rotation at work in two weeks where I’ll have to wear suits every day, and be in front of people all the time. As if that isn’t frightening enough, I look fat! I bought 4 new beautiful suits in January and their tight! Ohh goddd! Well, needless to say, I actually put some decent effort into my session with Terri yesterday and got the pleasant reward of being a little sore today. I love being sore after working out. It makes me feel like I worked hard.
I desperately want to feel slightly more comfortable in my body in two weeks than I do now. I’m not expecting a miraculous change, but a little bit of progress would be such a relief. It’s time to get back in it and get over my inertia about working out. It makes me feel so good to work out. Why don’t I do it?
I’d like get to the gym once a week by myself. That would be a big step.
Getting my butt out of bed for my session with Terri tomorrow morning wouldn’t be a bad step in the right direction either.
I totally get what Client H means about the confidence followed by sabotage routine. At the same time, slacking once in a while isn’t that bad. I think it’s amazing that H took the tools that she learned from Terri and has followed a program on her own. That discipline is really inspiring. I have none. I have a very hard time getting any exercise outside of a structured program. It’s really hard — and it’s not because I don’t want to work out. I really do want to work out so much. It makes me feel good about myself, it makes me feel strong and confident. It’s too hard to give that to myself without the commitment to someone or something else to get me there. I think it’s awesome that H can give that too herself. I hope I can take what Terri’s taught me and do it some day too.
I’m feeling pretty good this week — worked out three entire days and actually managed to get up on time for two of them! An improvement, believe me.
My pants aren’t as tight! Yay. It must be the eggs and tangerine breakfast I get as I’m scooted out the door each morning. I love that.
Terri may well be “the second most expensive trainer in New York,” but still, she’s a bargain compared to therapy, and she’s effective. I’m starting to feel genuinely better this week - a month after restarting training. I feel more motivated, now that I’m seeing some results. When I’m training with Terri, as she’s challenging, guiding and nourishing my body, subtly, my views about myself, my work, my relationships seem to be growing too.
Thanks T.