I’ve been doing really well since the triathlon training started. I’ve lost a few pounds. My size 6 pants are, inconceivably, starting to feel a bit loose. And today I did 4 full pull-ups after doing none for the last two months after wrist surgery.
I’m feeling kind of ambivalent about the triathlon. I’ve been dragging my feet about buying a bike. I love the swimming and I like running, although I feel like I might be behind in that - I’m not sure. Last week the Monday swim and Tuesday run were cancelled. I didn’t go to the Saturday session, which was a bike session for beginners (me.) So now I feel out of it, like I’ve dropped out and it’s hard to go back. I did go to the swim session last night though, and that was good. I didn’t feel so much like everyone had made huge strides in the last two weeks without me, and felt like I could go back. There’s a run tonight. Will I go? I don’t want to. I’m tired. I do want to though. I do. But I don’t - I’ll have to deal with being social, seeing a lot of people I don’t know, who meet and seem to talk to one another easily. It means suppressing my intense desire to run away, not deal with how uncomfortable and retarded I feel, and act like I know how to interact with people. Oh, it’s so fun being me.
This post was from two weeks ago. I “saved” instead of “posted.”
I did have a good week, despite switching my sessions constantly. At least I got them in. I also made it to the TNT workouts, so I feel less like a slug. (TNT is Team in Training, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s sports training program. I’m signed up for the Westchester Triathlon in September. My first.)
Amazingly, I got myself to Prospect Park yesterday for the group run. When the alarm went off I really wanted to go back to bed. I always have a hard time going back to groups if I’ve missed some of them, and I don’t want it to happen again. Before I shut off the alarm, I thought about that, and about how shitty I’d feel about myself if I didn’t go. So I got up. Nevermind that I took the train the wrong direction - finding myself at Wall St. before I realized what I’d done, and was fifteen minutes late. At least I got there. Being late didn’t really matter much because most of the others were biking rather than running. (I had wrist surgery last month. I can start riding next week…. It’s time to buy a bike already.) I ran the entire loop (3.35 miles)
We’re getting married in September. The triathlon will keep me sane.
This probably would be a good place to track my progress - wedding and triathlon.
Ok then, next time, wedding.