Personal Training NYC ClientG

On my way to Terri now. I feel pretty crappy. Hopefully I’ll feel better when I leave. Nauseous. Unmotivated. Fun. Will try to write later.

Well, I really want to try to blog on a regular basis now. So many changes. I’m pregnant - 6 weeks and 3 days today (my first time.) I feel somewhat crappy unfortunately. Dead tired and sort of nauseated all the time. On the upside, for the first time in my life without some artificial assistance, I’m not craving food constantly. Which is nice, since it’s not such a struggle keep the pounds of before the wedding in September. I’m eating pretty healthy considering. On the other upside, working out makes me feel better. I don’t know where I got the energy yesterday, but my session with Terry was great and I felt much less crabby afterwords, which I’m sure my bf appreciated enormously after my hormone driven meltdown on Saturday. Fun.

I’ll try to keep up with the blog. It probably would be good therapy and a good way to track my progress.

I’ve been doing really well since the triathlon training started. I’ve lost a few pounds. My size 6 pants are, inconceivably, starting to feel a bit loose. And today I did 4 full pull-ups after doing none for the last two months after wrist surgery.

I’m feeling kind of ambivalent about the triathlon. I’ve been dragging my feet about buying a bike. I love the swimming and I like running, although I feel like I might be behind in that - I’m not sure.  Last week the Monday swim and Tuesday run were cancelled. I didn’t go to the Saturday session, which was a bike session for beginners (me.) So now I feel out of it, like I’ve dropped out and it’s hard to go back. I did go to the swim session last night though, and that was good. I didn’t feel so much like everyone had made huge strides in the last two weeks without me, and felt like I could go back. There’s a run tonight. Will I go? I don’t want to. I’m tired. I do want to though. I do. But I don’t - I’ll have to deal with being social, seeing a lot of people I don’t know, who meet and seem to talk to one another easily. It means suppressing my intense desire to run away, not deal with how uncomfortable and retarded I feel, and act like I know how to interact with people. Oh, it’s so fun being me.

This post was from two weeks ago. I “saved” instead of “posted.”

I did have a good week, despite switching my sessions constantly. At least I got them in. I also made it to the TNT workouts, so I feel less like a slug.  (TNT is Team in Training, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s sports training program. I’m signed up for the Westchester Triathlon in September. My first.)

Amazingly, I got myself to Prospect Park yesterday for the group run. When the alarm went off I really wanted to go back to bed. I always have a hard time going back to groups if I’ve missed some of them, and I don’t want it to happen again. Before I shut off the alarm, I thought about that, and about how shitty I’d feel about myself if I didn’t go. So I got up. Nevermind that I took the train the wrong direction - finding myself at Wall St. before I realized what I’d done, and was fifteen minutes late. At least I got there. Being late didn’t really matter much because most of the others were biking rather than running. (I had wrist surgery last month. I can start riding next week…. It’s time to buy a bike already.) I ran the entire loop (3.35 miles)

We’re getting married in September. The triathlon will keep me sane.

This probably would be a good place to track my progress - wedding and triathlon.

Ok then, next time, wedding.

I’m finally starting to feel like I’m moving out of my sluggish period. It was easier to get myself to my session with Terri today, albeit a little later than I was supposed to.

I’m starting swimming next week for the triathlon, which isn’t until September, so that gives me some time to get moving on that too. I’ve been looking forward to training for the tri for a few months. My biggest problem will be to just get to the training sessions, and then to do one or two sessions a week on my own. The training program, if anyone happens to actually be reading this, is the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training (TNT) program, which trains novice athletes (i.e., me) to participate in endurance events (1/2 and whole marathons, 100 mi bike rides, and triathlons) in exchange for raising funds for the organization. I have to raise $3000. Yuck. On the other hand, I get amazing training (and some other treats, like a wetsuit and tax deductionf for any expenses I incur, including, for example, buying a new bike!), and I get to be a part of a really motivated and nice group of people. Anyway, that will help take the focus of eating and feeling fat and flabby. : )

so i had surgery last week on my wrist. for anyone out there who thinks Terri will be easier on you for being injured, forget about it. I think she bought a whole gym full of new tortures - I mean, equipment inspired by my inability to use my left hand (and hense, no push-ups.) Whatever, you do, don’t ask about “the vest.” (It has something to do with when you’re working out three days a week and gaining weight anyway because you’re still eating poorly.) Well, Terri says I’m only a “moderate complainer.” Great. 

Honestly, I like the new work outs.  I don’t know what to expect. It’s kind of fun. We’ll see how it goes.

Eating, obviously, is still an issue. I haven’t gotten myself back into a schedule and started planning meals. It’s the only way I feel healthy, get enough of what I need (an issue especially because I’m vegetarian.) Otherwise, I resort to junk food, snacks,  not-so-benign foraging. Restarting the blog will help me get back on track. I think the accountability helps a lot.

Not to complain, but my hand hurts. : )

After about almost two weeks of managing to avoid snacking and eating sweets, I feel better. I think I must have lost a couple of pounds - my pants aren’t as tight. Yay. I’m really happy and relieved to be getting back to a fitness program again. I feel more sane, I sleep better, I look better, I don’t feel so shitty about myself. I am tired though - I worked out three times last week, and my swimming class on Friday. I slept great this weekend. I’m still sleepy — which might account for why this blog is so boring…. oh well. : )

Well, it seems like there’s a trend among Terri’s clients — we all feel fat.  I’ve been well aware of putting a lot of those pounds right back on. And to make matters worse, for a while there I think I actually convinced myself that it didn’t matter. What the hell was I on? Now that my clothes are getting so tight they look bad, I’m finally waking up about it. To make matters worse, I have been so f–ing lazy in my sessions with Terri. 

I found out last week that I’m going to start a different rotation at work in two weeks where I’ll have to wear suits every day, and be in front of people all the time. As if that isn’t frightening enough, I look fat! I bought 4 new beautiful suits in January and their tight! Ohh goddd!  Well, needless to say, I actually put some decent effort into my session with Terri yesterday and got the pleasant reward of being a little sore today. I love being sore after working out.  It makes me feel like I worked hard.

I desperately want to feel slightly more comfortable in my body in two weeks than I do now. I’m not expecting a miraculous change, but a little bit of progress would be such a relief. It’s time to get back in it and get over my inertia about working out. It makes me feel so good to work out. Why don’t I do it?

I’d like get to the gym once a week by myself. That would be a big step.

Getting my butt out of bed for my session with Terri tomorrow morning wouldn’t be a bad step in the right direction either.

I totally get what Client H means about the confidence followed by sabotage routine. At the same time, slacking once in a while isn’t that bad.  I think it’s amazing that H took the tools that she learned from Terri and has followed a program on her own. That discipline is really inspiring. I have none. I have a very hard time getting any exercise outside of a structured program. It’s really hard — and it’s not because I don’t want to work out. I really do want to work out so much. It makes me feel good about myself, it makes me feel strong and confident. It’s too hard to give that to myself without the commitment to someone or something else to get me there. I think it’s awesome that H can give that too herself. I hope I can take what Terri’s taught me and do it some day too.

I’m feeling pretty good this week — worked out three entire days and actually managed to get up on time for two of them! An improvement, believe me.

My pants aren’t as tight! Yay. It must be the eggs and tangerine breakfast I get as I’m scooted out the door each morning. I love that.

Terri may well be “the second most expensive trainer in New York,” but still, she’s a bargain compared to therapy, and she’s effective. I’m starting to feel genuinely better this week - a month after restarting training. I feel more motivated, now that I’m seeing some results. When I’m training with Terri, as she’s challenging, guiding and nourishing my body, subtly, my views about myself, my work, my relationships seem to be growing too.

Thanks T.

I’m the only one out here, seems like. I really like reading Terri’s other clients’ blogs – checking how everyone’s doing, how we’re all dealing.  Anyway … come back….

Working out has been kind of intense this week. I’m glad I’m working out tomorrow — finally I feel like I’m finally getting on track. I’m not eating so compulsively today. Maybe writing it here will help cut down on the nighttime snacking.  I’m going home next weekend — I’m so not looking forward to people seeing that I’ve gained weight. I really don’t want to play this weight cycle game all over again.

I’m looking forward to my swim class and starting to train for the triathlon. Having a goal will keep me focused and my head in the right place.

I resolved to drag my ass out of bed to get to Terri this morning. No more missing morning sessions. My strength seems to be coming back a little. It’s still gonna be a while before I can do pull-ups again, but at least i’m back on the right track.  Terri trains body and soul.  The by product of becoming stronger physically seems to be growing mentally, emotionally too.

I started working out again with Terri three weeks ago after pretty much giving up exercising after my half-marathon in January. The results of doing nothing for two months came on fast and hard. In 7 weeks I had gained “5 to 8 pounds” according to Terri. I think she was being kind, which is kind of supported by the fact that she didn’t ask me to submit to the dreaded measurements. If she does anytime soon, there will probably be a stand off, or at least some serious crying. Why rub it in now anyway.

Just as bad (if that’s even possible,) I was forced to face myself when I woke up three weeks ago with such terrible back pain that I had to take muscle relaxers for a week and go to physical therapy. The physical therapy was useless, by the way.  Anyway, when I came back, I made Terri swear not to notice how fat I am.  My back still hurts, but it’s getting better. I wish I could say the same about my weight. Oh well, for now.

Possibly the most distressing aspect of all this is how much ground I’ve lost after spending a year getting into the best shape I’ve ever been in my life. Two months ago I could bang out 45 push-ups no problem. When I came back three weeks I struggled through 15. Now I’m up to 25 rough ones. The worst is that now I can’t do even one real pull-up. Before I could do 4 to 6 full pull-ups.

I suck.

At least I’m back now, and have a few goals ahead of me. That’s a good thing. What a lesson I’ve learned.

 … to do it. i took terri’s text message to heart. I worked out by myself on Monday, after missing my session with her in the morning, and I got there on Tuesday, and I’m catching up on the blog. None of which I had much interest in doing. But I’m doing it, and now I feel a little better. It’s still crappy and unmotivated, at work and working out, but I feel better. I’m not having fun this week, but at least I think I’m on the last gasp of my meltdown.

So Terri took my measurements on Tuesday. Conveniently, she waited to tell me until Tuesday afternoon, so I couldn’t do that much damage. I was all ready to expect a few extra inches since my Utah trip. Wow was I surprised when she told me I lost another 2 1/2 inches.  I don’t know how. I feel like I eat a lot, although I’ve cut way down on the crap in the last month. I’ve been doing more physical activity, so that makes a difference I guess. The real challenge for me, Terri said, is realizing that what I feel like is not necessarily what I look like or what I’m doing. I guess it must be true. I’m guessing she didn’t lie about losing more inches. Anyway, today we’re supposed to do a flexibility session. I’m skeptical. I want to sweat,  work on my pullups -yeah! LOL. Which reminds me, someone told me yesterday that she knows a girl who can do 85 push-ups. Wow. I can “only” do 40… Jeez.  

Today I discovered my boyfriend lost 4 pounds eating two boxes of Mallomars since Sunday. Great. If only I liked Mallowmars …. Anyway, I’ve had a pretty good week  eating, not overeating. Not obsessing as much, and not giving in. Terri said I have to  just decide not to binge.  She said it might have something to do with some ambivalence in other parts of my life (i.e. I want to be successful and get recognition at work and at the same time I want to disappear and not be seen.) It was easier to make that decision. On Monday I decided to not obsess and not binge, to eat on a schedule, just for that day. So I made the decision to not eat whenever/whatever I wanted on Monday, and since then it’s been easier.

And, by the way, did I mention that I did four (FOUR!!) pull-ups on Tuesday!!! FOUR!! Plus, shockingly, I worked out on my own at the gym yesterday. I hate going to the gym. Really hard to believe I dragged my ass there. And I’m even sore today. Nice.

Still, I feel like I’ve been boring/annoying the crap out of Terri lately. Well, she said, at least there’s less drama. great…. Anyway, it’s time to go bore myself to sleep. : )

i’m tired. i wanna go back to sleep. tried to change my session with T to this afternoon. she can’t, so i’m going now. getting up at 6:30 and shlepping my ass there is the battle. i’m not feelin’ the love today! story of my life.

well, i went running this morning — even with a cold (see, i’m motivated ;0). I ran 3 1/2 miles — not very much, but at least I got my butt there, even WITH a cold. And I did the requisite 100 pushups, and some stretching, a long walk with the doggie. yesterday I ate way too much. I had nukitchen for the day, which always makes me overeat since breakfast is all carbs. The whole food thing has been a struggle — not eating meat at all, or dairy except for Ronnybrook yogurt, which comes from “grass fed” “pasture raised” cows. For the maybe one person who reads this besides Terri, I stopped eating poultry (I haven’t had mammal in 18 years) and dairy after the sheep kill on my Utah survival skills trip. I had eggs for the first time this morning (from “free roaming hens” that “are not confined to cages, but are allowed to roam freely and follow their natural instinct to scratch around in the litter and move about as they please.”) Eggs from litter eating hens sounds so appetizing, but I guess it beats the the alternative. I finally gave in since maybe I got a cold because of not getting enough nutrients. I don’t know. Anyway. Happy weekend.

It’s true that when Terri trains you, you change inside as much as outside. I’m starting to feel like I can be an athlete. This is such a crazy unfamiliar idea. I’m not an athlete, I’m a couch potato wannabe athlete. She pushes me to change my thinking, and my bad habits. Like I must eat more than I think I should. She says I look great — not fat and flabby the way I feel. When I didn’t want to come in last week after having a terrible night, she said I wasn’t acting like a champion. She was right and I felt it and the next day I got my mental crap together and got there and we talked about being strong and making your needs known and being prepared to walk away. I want to be a champion (am I a fraud??). She’s no therapist, at least not directly. She makes me work hard, she makes me evaluate my diet and nutritional needs, she makes sure I’m taking care of everything. I really am different now. I’m stronger inside, more motivated, more confident. And I sleep at night now (I never did without ambien — every night for almost four years.) I sleep every night. thanks Terri.

Today’s my last day of the week with Terri. I’m kind of bummed. yesterday at work (i didn’t work out) I was totally unproductive. I’m so much more productive the days I see her. My whole life has changed — i wake up at 6:30 (I am so not a morning person), I work hard (mostly) and I get stuff done. Today was my first “yoga” day with Terri because I ran with TNT yesterday. I wasn’t so into the yoga. I wasn’t sore or tired from running, so I totally could have done a harder work out. Especially since I’m seeing her less now, I don’t want a regular down day. Anyway. I still got in my 100 push-ups tonight (30+30+30+10)! I’m such a geek.

Which reminds me, what the hell happened to Project Runway last night??? Repeat!! I was totally annoyed.