Personal Training NYC ClientG

I’m feeling pretty good this week — worked out three entire days and actually managed to get up on time for two of them! An improvement, believe me.

My pants aren’t as tight! Yay. It must be the eggs and tangerine breakfast I get as I’m scooted out the door each morning. I love that.

Terri may well be “the second most expensive trainer in New York,” but still, she’s a bargain compared to therapy, and she’s effective. I’m starting to feel genuinely better this week - a month after restarting training. I feel more motivated, now that I’m seeing some results. When I’m training with Terri, as she’s challenging, guiding and nourishing my body, subtly, my views about myself, my work, my relationships seem to be growing too.

Thanks T.

I resolved to drag my ass out of bed to get to Terri this morning. No more missing morning sessions. My strength seems to be coming back a little. It’s still gonna be a while before I can do pull-ups again, but at least i’m back on the right track.  Terri trains body and soul.  The by product of becoming stronger physically seems to be growing mentally, emotionally too.

 … to do it. i took terri’s text message to heart. I worked out by myself on Monday, after missing my session with her in the morning, and I got there on Tuesday, and I’m catching up on the blog. None of which I had much interest in doing. But I’m doing it, and now I feel a little better. It’s still crappy and unmotivated, at work and working out, but I feel better. I’m not having fun this week, but at least I think I’m on the last gasp of my meltdown.

So Terri took my measurements on Tuesday. Conveniently, she waited to tell me until Tuesday afternoon, so I couldn’t do that much damage. I was all ready to expect a few extra inches since my Utah trip. Wow was I surprised when she told me I lost another 2 1/2 inches.  I don’t know how. I feel like I eat a lot, although I’ve cut way down on the crap in the last month. I’ve been doing more physical activity, so that makes a difference I guess. The real challenge for me, Terri said, is realizing that what I feel like is not necessarily what I look like or what I’m doing. I guess it must be true. I’m guessing she didn’t lie about losing more inches. Anyway, today we’re supposed to do a flexibility session. I’m skeptical. I want to sweat,  work on my pullups -yeah! LOL. Which reminds me, someone told me yesterday that she knows a girl who can do 85 push-ups. Wow. I can “only” do 40… Jeez.  

Today I discovered my boyfriend lost 4 pounds eating two boxes of Mallomars since Sunday. Great. If only I liked Mallowmars …. Anyway, I’ve had a pretty good week  eating, not overeating. Not obsessing as much, and not giving in. Terri said I have to  just decide not to binge.  She said it might have something to do with some ambivalence in other parts of my life (i.e. I want to be successful and get recognition at work and at the same time I want to disappear and not be seen.) It was easier to make that decision. On Monday I decided to not obsess and not binge, to eat on a schedule, just for that day. So I made the decision to not eat whenever/whatever I wanted on Monday, and since then it’s been easier.

And, by the way, did I mention that I did four (FOUR!!) pull-ups on Tuesday!!! FOUR!! Plus, shockingly, I worked out on my own at the gym yesterday. I hate going to the gym. Really hard to believe I dragged my ass there. And I’m even sore today. Nice.

Still, I feel like I’ve been boring/annoying the crap out of Terri lately. Well, she said, at least there’s less drama. great…. Anyway, it’s time to go bore myself to sleep. : )

i’m tired. i wanna go back to sleep. tried to change my session with T to this afternoon. she can’t, so i’m going now. getting up at 6:30 and shlepping my ass there is the battle. i’m not feelin’ the love today! story of my life.

I felt so much better after seeing Terri yesterday. It was a lazy/sick week and I hardly did anything, and I was anything but excited to work out yesterday. Half way through I started to feel human. And my butt hurts!!! I love that!!! I had to work late so I couldn’t go running tonight, but I’m going to tomorrow. That will be a promise hard to keep. I want to. Clearly, motivation is my biggest problem. Tomorrow I’m going running.

It’s true that when Terri trains you, you change inside as much as outside. I’m starting to feel like I can be an athlete. This is such a crazy unfamiliar idea. I’m not an athlete, I’m a couch potato wannabe athlete. She pushes me to change my thinking, and my bad habits. Like I must eat more than I think I should. She says I look great — not fat and flabby the way I feel. When I didn’t want to come in last week after having a terrible night, she said I wasn’t acting like a champion. She was right and I felt it and the next day I got my mental crap together and got there and we talked about being strong and making your needs known and being prepared to walk away. I want to be a champion (am I a fraud??). She’s no therapist, at least not directly. She makes me work hard, she makes me evaluate my diet and nutritional needs, she makes sure I’m taking care of everything. I really am different now. I’m stronger inside, more motivated, more confident. And I sleep at night now (I never did without ambien — every night for almost four years.) I sleep every night. thanks Terri.

Today’s my last day of the week with Terri. I’m kind of bummed. yesterday at work (i didn’t work out) I was totally unproductive. I’m so much more productive the days I see her. My whole life has changed — i wake up at 6:30 (I am so not a morning person), I work hard (mostly) and I get stuff done. Today was my first “yoga” day with Terri because I ran with TNT yesterday. I wasn’t so into the yoga. I wasn’t sore or tired from running, so I totally could have done a harder work out. Especially since I’m seeing her less now, I don’t want a regular down day. Anyway. I still got in my 100 push-ups tonight (30+30+30+10)! I’m such a geek.

Which reminds me, what the hell happened to Project Runway last night??? Repeat!! I was totally annoyed.

I’ve been a total slacker about keeping up with the blog the last couple weeks. Well, I’m finally feeling a lettle less overwhelmed with everything on my plate, and more motivated to get back into work and working out and tackling all my commitments. Working out with Terri picked up this week — I was tired on Tuesday after the hard work out. That’s what I want. I finally got back to running with Team in Training this week too. I hadn’t gone in 3 weeks, but I ran 6 1/2 miles. yay. (My knee hurt the rest of the day — but it’s fine today. Don’t tell anyone.) I originally planned to run the Arizona half-marathon, but if I start going to practice regularly (2x/wk), I’ll start training for the marathon. it’s hard to believe I would ever think it was possible for me to do this. I’m coming to really understand that for me, my biggest challenge is not physical but mental. I guess that’s why there are sports psychologists. I feel like Terri is a psychologist of sorts. At least, I’ve been getting myself there for the last two weeks, even though I felt very crappy and unmotivated. She said I wasn’t acting like a champion. it’s true.

Terri took my measurements on Thursday. I lost nearly 8 inches! Terri swore she wasn’t shitting me! I can’t believe it! Of course, it’d be nice if I could possibly enjoy it for five minutes before I torture myself with angst about gaining it back. I’m working on it. Which reminds me — working at work actually helps. I’ll do anything to avoid it — “it’s absolutely vital that I “research” which dog food is the best/where to find red vines in ny/twizzlers v. red vine blogs/who has vegan marshmallows/fundraising how-tos…. yeah, so I’ve been pretty pathetic since the trip, which of course means I get a little too focussed on the crap. So, snap out of it! On the athletic (and positive) front — well, building my endurance and fitness level was actually motivation for working with Terri — this week I signed up with Team in Training for novice athletes to train for the Arizona half-marathon in January. Saturday was my first day — I ran the entire loop around prospect park — 3 1/2 miles! The coaches said most people who train for the half “end up” running the whole marathon. (!) I’m so happy. wow.

Terri took my measurements on Thursday. I lost nearly 8 inches! Terri swore she wasn’t shitting me! I can’t believe it! Of course, it’d be nice if I could possibly enjoy it for five minutes before I torture myself with angst about gaining it back. I’m working on it. Which reminds me — working at work actually helps. I’ll do anything to avoid it — “it’s absolutely vital that I “research” which dog food is the best/where to find red vines in ny/twizzlers v. red vine blogs/who has vegan marshmallows/fundraising how-tos…. yeah, so I’ve been pretty pathetic since the trip, which of course means I get a little too focussed on the crap. So, snap out of it! On the athletic (and positive) front — well, building my endurance and fitness level was actually motivation for working with Terri — this week I signed up with Team in Training for novice athletes to train for the Arizona half-marathon in January. Saturday was my first day — I ran the entire loop around prospect park — 3 1/2 miles! The coaches said most people who train for the half “end up” running the whole marathon. (!) I’m so happy. wow.

On the trip I needed so little food to sustain me. Apart from lunch the first day at 1, for the rest of that day and the next 2, we had no food except for a few wild onions, gooseberries and currants we found along the way. On the fourth day, I had a small amount of oatmeal in the morning and a few cut up vegetables made into soup for dinner (while everyone else was eating sheep stew), and I think little dough made into ashcakes at lunch (while everyone else was eating “sheep tacos” on fry bread made with sheep fat. The next two days I had a little oatmeal in the morning and some cut up vegitables for lunch and dinner, and one time, half an apple. After that we had plenty of food — lentils and flour and oatmeal, sucanot, carrots and onions. Still minimal, but after the starvation rations, I always had a lot of extra food. My revelation was that I needed much less food than I thought I did, and way less food than I eat at home, and I felt fine. No sugar ups and downs. No hunger pains (except for the sheep kill phase, when I was miserable watching everyone else gorging on sheep meat.) I need less than I think I need — than I want to devour every day, every hour of my life. Food is too disturbingly important to me. Which leads me to the question, why in hell does Overeaters Anon. exist??? It’s not just me….

and… and still alive to tell the story.

Well, it was the most incredible trip I’ve ever taken. I think all my hard work with Terri in the preceding weeks made a substantial difference in my ability to function on the course. We hiked from 10 to 14 hours every day (except for three days when we were at base camp learning skills like carving utensils with our knives (only if you wanted to eat), making friction fire using the bow drills we made, cooking with primitive puebloan methods, making a “burn bowl,” and of course, the main event, the sheep kill — aka “big game processing,” in which I (alone) did not participate and which has reinforced my commitment not only to not eating mammal meat, but now no poultry either.)

The course was very challenging physically, but the only time I had real (physical as opposed to mental) difficulty keeping up with the pace was when we were at higher altitudes (up to 11,500 ft). The biggest challenge for me was not so much the physical strains (which were no picnic — my feet are still swollen, I have a stress fracture in my toe and a million cuts, scrapes and bruises, but the mental/emotional challenges from being in my small group of 10 and having to deal with my usual demons with them. I do think I had some pretty good success on that front after an intial bumpy emotional ride.

The eating situation resulting in a fascinating epiphany for me. I was just not that hungry. After the initial 3 day “impact phase,” in which we were given no food (and theoretically little water, but we actually had plenty after the first day from lakes and streams), and the 3 day sheep kill phase (during whih I was given about 1/2 c. of oatmeal in the morning, and some ash cakes and vegis the second day, and just oatmeal and vegis the third day), we were supposedly given about 1200 calories for the remainder of the trip. I never finished my food. At the end of the course I made “oatmeal cookies” with my extra rations. What I learned so clearly is that when I’m hungry all the time, I’m not really hungry. I’m anxious, or bored (mostly anxious), and using food to relieve it. Duh. Pretty much like everyone else. So, that is my next hurdle.

I’m off poultry now, although I’m not giving up eggs, dairy and fish, at least for the time being, so I’m getting enough protein. Terri won’t be happy, but seeing that sheep being killed was devastating for me. Why not my doggy (Oliver, aka Elvis) next?

Anyway. I have much more to day about my trip — with pics, so I’ll send the link to my album blog when it’s done.

Thanks Terri — I could not have gotten through the trip without you.

The week started out pretty low energy. I guess there’s a pattern there. The beginning of each week sucks. The end is better. Tuesday and Wednesday I was dragging, maybe the heat, but yesterday was great. Thirty-five push-ups at ONE TIME! That was absolutely the best thing that happened this week.

So, my arms look pretty good, but my butt still grows. I’m gaining weight, despite the fact that I’m working out five days a week for at least an hour, and this week on Wed and Thurs I worked out a second hour on my own. I’m eating more for the trip (so I tell myself. fact is, i just like to eat), but the reality is that I just don’t need that many calories to maintain my weight. too bad.

So this week, I finally feel like I’m showing some results. I feel stronger. I think there’s a good possibility I’ll suffer less on the Utah trip.

On a different not, I just got copies of the magazine article about me losing weight. It’s coming out next month. It kind of sucks that I’ve gained weight since then. That has been the downside of the past few weeks working with Terri. Having/Getting to eat more. I’m paying for it in other ways. When I get back from the trip, I’ll focus on that, determining what I need, how to keep off the weight but still eat healthy, and be able to have treats without torturing myself.

I feel much better than I did on Monday. Tuesday I was able to say NO to the ice cream my bf brought home, and last night, I indulged, but just maybe a cup of icecream — no guilt inducing binge. I’m hungrier during the day. I was taking a decongestant everyday for most of the last 6 months, and it made me not feel hungry during the day. A nice side effect, but my blood pressure and heartrate were way to high. I’ve been off for a couple of months — hense, 5 lb gain. Food food it’s all about food. It sucks. I feel fat and hungry as usual. I want to change all that. Still, I desperately want a cookie. or a peanut butter cup. I’d be happy with a peanut butter cup.

I loved working out this week too - but it was harder than the last couple weeks. Monday and Tuesday were 65 push-ups, Wednesday was 75, and today was 100! (!!) My knee is feeling much better too. Hopefully it isn’t anything serious. I don’t think I’ll be running anymore before the Utah course, but during orientation on the first day, we have to run a fast mile and a half. I’m trying not to worry too much about it.

The goal this weekend is to not go overboard with food. Terri said to work on it Saturday, but now I think it would be easier to not worry about it Saturday, and Sunday be more structured. My bf and I spend Saturdays together, but Sundays we work or do our own thing, so it would be a lot easier on Sunday to keep to a reasonable eating schedule. Ok, Saturday twizzlers, Sunday rice cakes (just kidding:)