Personal Training NYC ClientG

I felt so much better after seeing Terri yesterday. It was a lazy/sick week and I hardly did anything, and I was anything but excited to work out yesterday. Half way through I started to feel human. And my butt hurts!!! I love that!!! I had to work late so I couldn’t go running tonight, but I’m going to tomorrow. That will be a promise hard to keep. I want to. Clearly, motivation is my biggest problem. Tomorrow I’m going running.

well, i went running this morning — even with a cold (see, i’m motivated ;0). I ran 3 1/2 miles — not very much, but at least I got my butt there, even WITH a cold. And I did the requisite 100 pushups, and some stretching, a long walk with the doggie. yesterday I ate way too much. I had nukitchen for the day, which always makes me overeat since breakfast is all carbs. The whole food thing has been a struggle — not eating meat at all, or dairy except for Ronnybrook yogurt, which comes from “grass fed” “pasture raised” cows. For the maybe one person who reads this besides Terri, I stopped eating poultry (I haven’t had mammal in 18 years) and dairy after the sheep kill on my Utah survival skills trip. I had eggs for the first time this morning (from “free roaming hens” that “are not confined to cages, but are allowed to roam freely and follow their natural instinct to scratch around in the litter and move about as they please.”) Eggs from litter eating hens sounds so appetizing, but I guess it beats the the alternative. I finally gave in since maybe I got a cold because of not getting enough nutrients. I don’t know. Anyway. Happy weekend.

It’s true that when Terri trains you, you change inside as much as outside. I’m starting to feel like I can be an athlete. This is such a crazy unfamiliar idea. I’m not an athlete, I’m a couch potato wannabe athlete. She pushes me to change my thinking, and my bad habits. Like I must eat more than I think I should. She says I look great — not fat and flabby the way I feel. When I didn’t want to come in last week after having a terrible night, she said I wasn’t acting like a champion. She was right and I felt it and the next day I got my mental crap together and got there and we talked about being strong and making your needs known and being prepared to walk away. I want to be a champion (am I a fraud??). She’s no therapist, at least not directly. She makes me work hard, she makes me evaluate my diet and nutritional needs, she makes sure I’m taking care of everything. I really am different now. I’m stronger inside, more motivated, more confident. And I sleep at night now (I never did without ambien — every night for almost four years.) I sleep every night. thanks Terri.

Today’s my last day of the week with Terri. I’m kind of bummed. yesterday at work (i didn’t work out) I was totally unproductive. I’m so much more productive the days I see her. My whole life has changed — i wake up at 6:30 (I am so not a morning person), I work hard (mostly) and I get stuff done. Today was my first “yoga” day with Terri because I ran with TNT yesterday. I wasn’t so into the yoga. I wasn’t sore or tired from running, so I totally could have done a harder work out. Especially since I’m seeing her less now, I don’t want a regular down day. Anyway. I still got in my 100 push-ups tonight (30+30+30+10)! I’m such a geek.

Which reminds me, what the hell happened to Project Runway last night??? Repeat!! I was totally annoyed.

I’ve been a total slacker about keeping up with the blog the last couple weeks. Well, I’m finally feeling a lettle less overwhelmed with everything on my plate, and more motivated to get back into work and working out and tackling all my commitments. Working out with Terri picked up this week — I was tired on Tuesday after the hard work out. That’s what I want. I finally got back to running with Team in Training this week too. I hadn’t gone in 3 weeks, but I ran 6 1/2 miles. yay. (My knee hurt the rest of the day — but it’s fine today. Don’t tell anyone.) I originally planned to run the Arizona half-marathon, but if I start going to practice regularly (2x/wk), I’ll start training for the marathon. it’s hard to believe I would ever think it was possible for me to do this. I’m coming to really understand that for me, my biggest challenge is not physical but mental. I guess that’s why there are sports psychologists. I feel like Terri is a psychologist of sorts. At least, I’ve been getting myself there for the last two weeks, even though I felt very crappy and unmotivated. She said I wasn’t acting like a champion. it’s true.

Terri took my measurements on Thursday. I lost nearly 8 inches! Terri swore she wasn’t shitting me! I can’t believe it! Of course, it’d be nice if I could possibly enjoy it for five minutes before I torture myself with angst about gaining it back. I’m working on it. Which reminds me — working at work actually helps. I’ll do anything to avoid it — “it’s absolutely vital that I “research” which dog food is the best/where to find red vines in ny/twizzlers v. red vine blogs/who has vegan marshmallows/fundraising how-tos…. yeah, so I’ve been pretty pathetic since the trip, which of course means I get a little too focussed on the crap. So, snap out of it! On the athletic (and positive) front — well, building my endurance and fitness level was actually motivation for working with Terri — this week I signed up with Team in Training for novice athletes to train for the Arizona half-marathon in January. Saturday was my first day — I ran the entire loop around prospect park — 3 1/2 miles! The coaches said most people who train for the half “end up” running the whole marathon. (!) I’m so happy. wow.

Terri took my measurements on Thursday. I lost nearly 8 inches! Terri swore she wasn’t shitting me! I can’t believe it! Of course, it’d be nice if I could possibly enjoy it for five minutes before I torture myself with angst about gaining it back. I’m working on it. Which reminds me — working at work actually helps. I’ll do anything to avoid it — “it’s absolutely vital that I “research” which dog food is the best/where to find red vines in ny/twizzlers v. red vine blogs/who has vegan marshmallows/fundraising how-tos…. yeah, so I’ve been pretty pathetic since the trip, which of course means I get a little too focussed on the crap. So, snap out of it! On the athletic (and positive) front — well, building my endurance and fitness level was actually motivation for working with Terri — this week I signed up with Team in Training for novice athletes to train for the Arizona half-marathon in January. Saturday was my first day — I ran the entire loop around prospect park — 3 1/2 miles! The coaches said most people who train for the half “end up” running the whole marathon. (!) I’m so happy. wow.

I had the hardest workout with Terri this morning. She kicked my ass. A good thing. We talked about training for a mini-triathalon. I don’t think I’m very athletic, but it looks like I’m finding my way down that road, doing things I never thought I could. Stamina and endurance have become really important. Along with losing weight and fighting with my compulsive eating and food cravings. Today was actually a good food day — the first since coming back from my trip (8 out of 10 people who eat food prefer red vines to twizzlers) that I didn’t feel the intense need to devour as much crap as possible. By the way, I’ve been watching the Work Out marathon tonight. I’m ashamed to say I love Jackie. It’s time to ditch toxic Mimi. This is not the same show as the first two episodes. Or I’ve changed.

On the trip I needed so little food to sustain me. Apart from lunch the first day at 1, for the rest of that day and the next 2, we had no food except for a few wild onions, gooseberries and currants we found along the way. On the fourth day, I had a small amount of oatmeal in the morning and a few cut up vegetables made into soup for dinner (while everyone else was eating sheep stew), and I think little dough made into ashcakes at lunch (while everyone else was eating “sheep tacos” on fry bread made with sheep fat. The next two days I had a little oatmeal in the morning and some cut up vegitables for lunch and dinner, and one time, half an apple. After that we had plenty of food — lentils and flour and oatmeal, sucanot, carrots and onions. Still minimal, but after the starvation rations, I always had a lot of extra food. My revelation was that I needed much less food than I thought I did, and way less food than I eat at home, and I felt fine. No sugar ups and downs. No hunger pains (except for the sheep kill phase, when I was miserable watching everyone else gorging on sheep meat.) I need less than I think I need — than I want to devour every day, every hour of my life. Food is too disturbingly important to me. Which leads me to the question, why in hell does Overeaters Anon. exist??? It’s not just me….

and… and still alive to tell the story.

Well, it was the most incredible trip I’ve ever taken. I think all my hard work with Terri in the preceding weeks made a substantial difference in my ability to function on the course. We hiked from 10 to 14 hours every day (except for three days when we were at base camp learning skills like carving utensils with our knives (only if you wanted to eat), making friction fire using the bow drills we made, cooking with primitive puebloan methods, making a “burn bowl,” and of course, the main event, the sheep kill — aka “big game processing,” in which I (alone) did not participate and which has reinforced my commitment not only to not eating mammal meat, but now no poultry either.)

The course was very challenging physically, but the only time I had real (physical as opposed to mental) difficulty keeping up with the pace was when we were at higher altitudes (up to 11,500 ft). The biggest challenge for me was not so much the physical strains (which were no picnic — my feet are still swollen, I have a stress fracture in my toe and a million cuts, scrapes and bruises, but the mental/emotional challenges from being in my small group of 10 and having to deal with my usual demons with them. I do think I had some pretty good success on that front after an intial bumpy emotional ride.

The eating situation resulting in a fascinating epiphany for me. I was just not that hungry. After the initial 3 day “impact phase,” in which we were given no food (and theoretically little water, but we actually had plenty after the first day from lakes and streams), and the 3 day sheep kill phase (during whih I was given about 1/2 c. of oatmeal in the morning, and some ash cakes and vegis the second day, and just oatmeal and vegis the third day), we were supposedly given about 1200 calories for the remainder of the trip. I never finished my food. At the end of the course I made “oatmeal cookies” with my extra rations. What I learned so clearly is that when I’m hungry all the time, I’m not really hungry. I’m anxious, or bored (mostly anxious), and using food to relieve it. Duh. Pretty much like everyone else. So, that is my next hurdle.

I’m off poultry now, although I’m not giving up eggs, dairy and fish, at least for the time being, so I’m getting enough protein. Terri won’t be happy, but seeing that sheep being killed was devastating for me. Why not my doggy (Oliver, aka Elvis) next?

Anyway. I have much more to day about my trip — with pics, so I’ll send the link to my album blog when it’s done.

Thanks Terri — I could not have gotten through the trip without you.

p.s. have been complying with Terri’s orders to drink more water. Nearly a liter before I even leave the house in the morning. At least a liter during the day, and another in the evening. I have to pee constantly. CONSTANTLY.
LOL

The week started out pretty low energy. I guess there’s a pattern there. The beginning of each week sucks. The end is better. Tuesday and Wednesday I was dragging, maybe the heat, but yesterday was great. Thirty-five push-ups at ONE TIME! That was absolutely the best thing that happened this week.

So, my arms look pretty good, but my butt still grows. I’m gaining weight, despite the fact that I’m working out five days a week for at least an hour, and this week on Wed and Thurs I worked out a second hour on my own. I’m eating more for the trip (so I tell myself. fact is, i just like to eat), but the reality is that I just don’t need that many calories to maintain my weight. too bad.

So this week, I finally feel like I’m showing some results. I feel stronger. I think there’s a good possibility I’ll suffer less on the Utah trip.

On a different not, I just got copies of the magazine article about me losing weight. It’s coming out next month. It kind of sucks that I’ve gained weight since then. That has been the downside of the past few weeks working with Terri. Having/Getting to eat more. I’m paying for it in other ways. When I get back from the trip, I’ll focus on that, determining what I need, how to keep off the weight but still eat healthy, and be able to have treats without torturing myself.

I feel much better than I did on Monday. Tuesday I was able to say NO to the ice cream my bf brought home, and last night, I indulged, but just maybe a cup of icecream — no guilt inducing binge. I’m hungrier during the day. I was taking a decongestant everyday for most of the last 6 months, and it made me not feel hungry during the day. A nice side effect, but my blood pressure and heartrate were way to high. I’ve been off for a couple of months — hense, 5 lb gain. Food food it’s all about food. It sucks. I feel fat and hungry as usual. I want to change all that. Still, I desperately want a cookie. or a peanut butter cup. I’d be happy with a peanut butter cup.

I loved working out this week too - but it was harder than the last couple weeks. Monday and Tuesday were 65 push-ups, Wednesday was 75, and today was 100! (!!) My knee is feeling much better too. Hopefully it isn’t anything serious. I don’t think I’ll be running anymore before the Utah course, but during orientation on the first day, we have to run a fast mile and a half. I’m trying not to worry too much about it.

The goal this weekend is to not go overboard with food. Terri said to work on it Saturday, but now I think it would be easier to not worry about it Saturday, and Sunday be more structured. My bf and I spend Saturdays together, but Sundays we work or do our own thing, so it would be a lot easier on Sunday to keep to a reasonable eating schedule. Ok, Saturday twizzlers, Sunday rice cakes (just kidding:)

Not such a good day. I worked hard with Terri this morning. I can feel myself getting stronger, I think, but I’m not giving myself much credit, I don’t think. I still feel sort of worm-ish — my body skulking along in its ugly way. My body and mind are not in sync today. My knee started hurting couple hours ago. I finished everything in my food pack by 3:45 and I was still hungry. At 5:30 I had a peach. Since then I’ve been fine. I still have to decide what to do for dinner. Ugh.

I felt really bad this morning about eating the movie candy Saturday night (twizzlers and m&ms at Pirates of the Carribean) and foraging all day Sunday. Terri wouldn’t take sides with me about the candy, claiming to eat an entire box of milk duds when she goes to the movies. Wow. Can it be? It would be wonderful to be able to eat entire bag of twizzlers or m&ms at the movies without hating myself. That’s a good thing — thanks Terri.

Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully my knee will be fine.

This was my second week with Terri. I’m sore and tired, but very happy. I love her. She’s kicking my butt (in a good way), but she’s also making me think.

I’m a little concerned that I’m getting a cold, but I’m hoping it’s just my body adjusting to the new physical activity, and that I need to sleep better.

Last week I started getting weekday meals from NuKitchen delivered to my office (bf, lunch, 2 snacks mon-fri). It is a huge extravagance for me (not to mention slightly embarrassing to have to pick up the cooler from the front desk every morning), but it’s just for this month until I leave for my Utah wilderness survival course. Terri urged me to develop an organized eating plan immediately because my eating habits would undermine all of my goals – to have energy, to develop physical stamina, to effectively prepare for the trip, to stop my pattern of losing and gaining weight. The last one — that’s the fun one.

In the last 3 years, I have weighed everything in between 102 and 148. I recently lost about 10 pounds, and over the past month and a half, I gained back half of it because I have no self-control about food. I’m at total extremes with it – I eat everything or nothing. Terri suggested planning meals and eating more during the day. She suggesting I check out Fresh Direct ready-made meals, but the choices are totally overwhelming. (I’m not sure how I manage to do anything sometimes — choices are so hard. ie. what clothes to buy, what music to listen, the result being that I don’t buy enough clothes or listen to enough music, even though both would bring a lot more pleasure.)

It’s crazy shelling out $30 a day to have someone else organize my meals because I’m too retarded to do it myself, but the results are sort of amazing. I’m learning a lot (and I better, because I’m not doing it again.) My usual habit of eating not enough or badly during the day, and then too much at night, has abruptly stopped. Now, I feel like I’m eating so much during the day (sans guilt) and I’m just not that hungry at night, so I’m not bingeing at home at night, and therefore, not feeling crappy.

I won’t see Terri for a few days. I hope my lazy butt won’t triumph over my will to workout. I don’t want to sit around all weekend. I’ve been working really hard over the last two weeks. I don’t want to lose it by being lazy. It makes me feel strong and capable and like I have some tiny amount of control in what I usually feel is my chaotic messy life. I’m tired and sore, and my throat’s a little scratchy, but I’m satisfied, like I’m on the right path. I so desperately want to be on the right path and stay on it.

One clients’ journey with me as her personal trainer at my private gym and my fitness website www.online-personaltraining-nyc.com in the asphalt jungle of New York City.

Today was the end of my first week with Terri. I wanted to start working with her to prepare for a two-week wilderness survival course in Southern Utah in August. Even though that was my starting point, I think at the same time I was looking for someone who could help me make some more enduring changes in how I approach my life. Well, after my first week down, I feel like I’m waking up.

At first I wasn’t sure I could handle being up at 6:45 a.m. so that I could drag my ass to Soho from Brooklyn. I thought I would want to cancel so I wouldn’t have to get up early. After my first day, the thought of cancelling, notwithstanding the inevitable pushups and ass-kicking (literally) bike, never entered my mind.

My first week working with Terri has been full of surprising revelations. First, I have shoulders, which, at the moment, are preventing me from lifting my arms. The more important thing that came to light is that my eating habits suck, and that they have a big impact on how I feel and what I can do. I always thought I ate pretty well. Wow. Not. Evidently, the daily lunch special of a powerbar and midafternoon snack of m&ms (I mean, the peanuts are totally healthy) don’t exactly fall into Terri’s idea of a healthy eating plan (whatever.) Well, yesterday, I actually had a turkey sandwich for lunch and a decent dinner (for me), and then today I had a lot more energy during my workout (surely, it must have been coincidental!)